Monday, September 30, 2013

Photos of the Week

Photos from our apple and peach picking outing....

I love harvesting in the fall.... even if it's stuff that I didn't grow myself :)

So......I have a lot on my mind today.  I hope it won't bore you if I unload my thoughts here.

I'm currently a mother of one amazing almost five year old.  I love him and am grateful for him everyday of my life.  I've always wanted a big family- like the one I was raised in.  But so far the additional children have not come. We've been waiting for over three years to have more children.  But I've had to wade through lots of physical trials and for most of that time, it was an impossibility to even think about having more.  Now I'm at the point where I feel healthier than I have in a long long time.  I'm ready and able to care for more kids, but it hasn't happened yet.

I know for some, three years to wait for having a child seems like a short time.  Others wait much much longer.  But I don't know if it makes it any easier for me, especially here, where I'm surrounded by a culture that values large families -where you feel left behind because you only have one kid, while others your age have 2,3, or 4.

Most of the time I'm grateful for the life and family I have, but once in a while I get down on myself because I don't have more children yet.  I wonder why I've had to wait so so long when I love children so much.  At times I even doubt my own worth.  But over the weekend I heard some inspired words from a very inspired man that helped to heal my wounds.

"Your Heavenly Father loves you, each of you.  That love never changes.  It is not influenced by your appearance, by your possessions, or by the amount of money in your bank account.  It is not changed by your talents and abilities.  It is simply there." 
 -President Thomas S. Monson

As soon as I heard those words, I knew they were true.  I feel so strongly about that simple message.  The Lord loves you no matter what stage you are in life or what you may or may not have.  He loves me and will always love me no matter how many children I have.  I should never compare myself to others or base my own worth on how I measure up to others.


6 comments :

  1. I am so sorry! :( I just had my very first daughter and she's 14 months and I think the hardest part is the waiting and wondering. I have friend who tried for 6 years before having her first and then tried for her second and got triplets! Don't compare yourself to others- it will happen if it's supposed to and it sounds like your a wonderful mama to your 5 year old.

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  2. Hooray for peaches and apples and for tender mercies from Heavenly Father! Thanks for sharing that quote from Pres. Monson. It's a good one and I'm glad you felt that love. I didn't get to go to the broadcast, but will hopefully get to watch it this week sometime.

    You are an AWESOME mom and you're right - Heavenly Father loves you know matter how many kids you have. I sometimes feel like I am less of a mother because I only have one. That's not at all true though. Having just one is challenging in different ways. What matters is how we chose to use what we've been given. I love you and am sending hugs and prayers from Oregon!

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  3. It's a "glass half full or half empty" scenario. I have one child, now in college. I never set a goal for how many children to have. Because of a variety of circumstances, one was the right number for us. It has worked out well. Occasionally I thought a sibling for my son might have been nice, but, ultimately, for many, many reasons, I know one was right for us. There is no perfect number of children. It's how much you love the one you have that matters. You seem be an awesome mother. Enjoy the time you have with your son at home. It's fleeting. I remember a friend of mine lamented to me when her second child was born that she'd never be able to spend as much time with him as she did with her first child. Enjoy the luxury of one!

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  4. FIrstly beautiful pictures, my apple trees have just starting blossoming and I love it :)

    SOmetimes I think we just have to put aside what others think, I have 5 children and I love each of them but it comes with challenges my friend has one and she has her own set of challenges. Pray have faith and trust that what is right for you is what the lord will do.

    Enjoy the time you have your little one as a single it's the one thing you will never regret as I am sure you do already xo

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  5. aw I've got my fingers crossed that you wont have to wait too long xxxx

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  6. We are in this one-child and longing for more thing together. It is so stinking hard to wait for a righteous desire and to trust in Heavenly Father's plan for your life. If there is one thing I have learned is that talking about it helps (even though it is very personal and it is packed full of raw emotion). Come on over, we'll cry together. Love you!

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