The snow is melting..... and slowly are my fears.
I had another doctor's appointment and I had more bad news. The endometriosis has probably spread to other organs. At first I was sad. I was scared. I was stressed to the point of exhaustion. There's no cure for this and I don't want to be in pain forever, treatments are expensive and drug side effects are awful, but amazingly and miraculously I feel ok now. I feel peace.
I had been harboring so many fears for my future for so long, but day by day I'm learning how to let go of those. It's a long process, but it's so much better this way. It's so much happier. It's a better way to live.
I can't say that it's my will power or strength alone that has gotten me to this point. I can't take that much credit. It's the prayers of those that love me... the many many prayers offered on my behalf for so long. It's the love of a Savior who I know lives and who I know for certain knows exactly how I feel. It's the power of a greater being, someone who loves all of us more than we can imagine. If any of you don't believe in God right now, choose to. Choose to believe because there's no way we can find true happiness without Him. I would have given in to my fears long ago if I didn't believe in God. I wouldn't have made it this far. I wouldn't have the joy I have now, in spite of health problems.